This one. This is a good one. I basically went all out and ignored all and any dating advice from friends and really blew this one. A real "middle-finger" to The Rules. The cringe factor is high. However, this guy was definitely a total player, and was not looking for a long term commitment, so it was doomed from the start. I just accelerated it with my poor dating skills.
Let's call him, Jay. Jay was my first Match.com date a few months back and he had me hooked from the get go. He sent me the best email (a list of 5 things he liked about my profile- I'm a sucker for lists) and then he sent me an IM. Mind you, this was all within hours of me joining Match. Red flag #1. I guess once you join, you are labeled as "fresh meat" and will get a ton of emails...some good, but most are bad. I should have known he was rather predatory if he found me so quickly. I guess he could sense my dating naiveté.
Jay- a bit younger than me, attorney, ivy educated and super sarcastic. A winner for me on all fronts so far. We IM'd for about an hour and yes I felt like I was in high school. We then moved on to email and I liked him more and more after each email. Spelling was impeccable (very important to me!), told great stories, asked a ton of questions, etc. We set up a date to meet and I was super excited.
First Date
We decided to meet at a tapas bar (I hate tapas) but it was cute. We had an amazing conversation and a few drinks. It lasted two hours and we walked me to the train (I was commuting to NJ at the time). I really felt like I had connected with Jay- something I haven't felt in a long time. I was definitely smitten.
Mistake #1
I text him on my train ride home. I know- des-per-ate, right?? I just said I had a great time with him, but learned later that is a no-no. The guy should text apparently and never after the date. Ok, so I'm learning.
Mistake #2
He texts me back that he had a great time and hopes to see me again. I text him right away that I'd love to and will think of a place to do. Yep, I should have waited and let him plan the place per what I am told.
We continue to email and I really, really like this guy. He would send a random email that I was really cute or I made him laugh. Everything he said made me like him more.
Second Date
We go to the Fig and Olive downtown (good date spot BTW) and have a 4 hour dinner. My attraction to him was beyond palpable and it was definitely one of my top dates ever. Of course during this date, he talked about how "we should do this" or "I can't wait to cook you dinner." All things that would lead you to believe another date was coming. I didn't want the date to end, and apparently neither did he. We had a great kissing session in the cab and he asked me back to his place. I declined but he didn't seem annoyed.
Mistake #3
Now, this is interesting. In terms of dating rules I didn't blow it, but in terms of the players' rules, I blew it by not going home with him.
Mistake #4
I texted him the next day that I was in the city that night if he wanted to get together. HUGE mistake on my part. I mean, I assume he didn't have plans? Also, I let him know I was WAY too eager to see him. As I write this I am so disappointed in myself. Where was the chase? I basically was a sitting duck! He texted me back that he was in Brooklyn for the night so couldn't meet up. Ouch.
I kick it up a notch on the cringe-worthy factor in the next part....TBC.....
No comments:
Post a Comment