Let's Talk About..."When Harry Met Sally"

Merry Christmas everyone!  After opening presents and going through what feels like a month of endless eating and drinking, my family settled down today and we all watched the classic, "When Harry Met Sally." Who doesn't love this movie?  Even my dad, who only likes movies made before 1940 was chuckling. 

We all know the infamous, "I'll have what she's having," line, but I forgot there are also some great lines that still hold true to dating today.  It especially hits close to home being single during the holidays and I felt compelled to comment on a few choice lines.

Scene at the Boathouse
Marie: Okay, but don't wait too long. Remember what happened with David Warsaw? His wife left him and everyone said give him some time, don't move in too fast...6 months later, he was dead.
Sally: What are you saying? I should get married to someone right away in case he's about to die?
Alice: At least you could say you were married.

This line resonated with me during the period when I hit 30 and it felt all my friends were getting married but me.  It felt like every guy I dated during that time was going to be "the one." I hadn't met the one in college, so of course I would meet him in business school, right?  Well wrong.  At that time, I felt like I had to get married. It didn't matter to whom as long as I got to wear a white dress and have a great party. All the wrong reasons to want to get married!  Don't get me wrong, I would still like to get married, but I see way beyond the dress now, especially seeing my friends and family go through some rather ugly divorces.  What I'm looking for now isn't a wedding, but a life partner.  It can be a  bummer to be single at this time, but really, would you rather be married and miserable or single and maybe just a bit lonely?  It's not worth it to say "At least I'm married"

Sally find out her ex is getting married
Sally: He just met her... She's supposed to be his transitional person, she's not supposed to be the ONE. All this time I thought he didn't want to get married. But, the truth is, he didn't want to marry me. He didn't love me.

Harry: If you could take him back now, would you?

Sally: No. But why didn't he want to marry me? What's the matter with me?

Harry: Nothing.

Sally: I'm difficult.

Harry: You're challenging.

Sally: I'm too structured, I'm completely closed off.

Harry: But in a good way.

Sally: No, no, no, I drove him away. AND, I'm gonna be forty.

Harry: When?

Sally: Someday.

 

This scene hits very close to home.  In one of my earlier relationships, I thought I was with someone who truly and honestly didn't want to get married to anyone.  His parents weren't married and he was against the institution.  I truly believed this, but that of course, we would be together forever.  Guess what?  I got the ax and he married the very next girl he met like a year later!!  The very next girl.  All I could think of was "Why didn't he want to marry me?"  This is something that women need to learn to accept.  It unfortunately took me way too long to get over that heartbreak since I wrestled with that question for years after.  In reality ladies, no man is DYING to get married, BUT if he loves you enough, he will marry you, no question about it.  Think about all your friends who are in healthy marriages.  They never had 29 breakups and constant fighting...it was easy.  I'm sorry to say, but when a man says he isn't going to get married, it probably means he doesn't want to marry you. Basic premise behind the book He Just Isn't That Into You, only Sally Albright said it 20 years earlier.  Let's face it, if it's been 4 years, you are over 30 and your boyfriend still hasn't proposed, he just may not ever get around to it.  Just a thought...

 

After Harry freaks out because he slept with Sally

Sally Albright: I am not your consolation prize, Harry.

 

One benefit of being on Match is that you get to date a lot of guys.  The downfall is that they too are dating a lot of women. This is fine when you are on the first date, but when you get to the 4th date, it gets a little dicey.  You have to make sure that you are the one they are dying to see...not the girl who happens to be there. Don't settle for second best when you aren't exclusive yet with a guy. You want to be the Saturday night gal, not the last minute Tuesday night booty call. Who wants to be a goomah? No one wants to end up like  Janice Rossi in 2R.  Don't be anyone's consolation prize! 

Don't you guys agree this movie still holds true today?  Notice I didn't even touch upon guys and girls being friends.  I still don't know where I stand on that one!
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Type #6- Pervy McPervson

"I would love to massage your feet with sensual lotion."

Also known as: Carlos Danger, Chester the Molester, Anthony Weiner

Advantages: Could be amazing in the bedroom

Disadvantages: Could murder you in the bedroom and wear your skin as a dress

Ah, the Perv.  Match has a lot of them.  Let me preface this story with a few things.  One, the title quote was actually sent to me in an email. Two, people's freak flags fly at different levels, so I understand where some people may be ok with a little pervi-ness, and third, I actually made it to a date with someone I thought was an initial perv (and may still be). As always, below are real, actual stories.  Also, mom, please don't read this--it will save you nights of rosaries and lighting candles.

I'll start off with a question.  France- what is up with your men?  Do you groom them as little boys and have them watch Pepe LePew as a paradigm of how to woo women with a creepy, rapey vibe?  I would be comfortable publishing a study with the following statistic- about 89% of French men are pervs and 100% of French men on Match are pervs. 9 times out of 10, any creepy email I got was from a Frenchman.  Unfortunately I didn't save them, but most of them would send me explicit emails (right off the bat!) of what they want to do to me.  And yes, some man said he wanted to give me a foot massage.  I really want to know if this strategy ever works.  Really, I do.

One pervy story basically started and ended before an actual date.  Andy seemed like a clean cut kind of guy, we emailed back and forth a few times and no alarm bells went off.  He didn't want to massage my feet or try on my bras so I felt comfortable enough to give him my number. Oh Laura, the mistakes you make on Match.

Well Andy turned from clean cut to straight up freak.  His first text was if I was a good kisser (obviously we know from my story with Jack  that I am), and I didn't respond.  He said that he was a great kisser and that I should experiment with him.  I told him how much he creeped me out so he then took it down a notch and texted me a few normal things. Then, I kid you not, he asked about my favorite sexual position.  I mean, I have put up with some weird stuff, but that is where I draw the line!  I texted him that he was insanely inappropriate and to lose my number.

Best part of the story, he sent me another email on Match saying "Well, I guess we didn't click although you should have given me a chance." THEN when I didn't respond, he sent me a not interested email.  There is this option on Match (which I have never used) that if you don't like a person, you send an automated message that says, "Thanks but so and so is not interested in you."  So creepy Andy sends me that message after I ignored him.  Classic Match.

On a related note I did give a different perv, Louis, the benefit of the doubt.  He mentioned he was really into knee high boots on like the third email, but I let that slide.  The date was interesting to say the least, but that is for another post.