John, John, John. Poor John just was not ready to go back into the dating scene and I should have known the second I viewed his Match profile. He had photos of himself with a very pretty woman, whom I was later told was his ex. He said he "didn't know how to crop photos" AND they were from THEIR LAST TRIP TOGETHER!!! He liked the photos bc he was tan. Ok, I can appreciate a good tan photo, but learn to crop for Chrissakes!
Side note about John's profile. He was all about "graduating from Harvard." There were a few pics of him at graduation, his name was IvyLeaguer and mentioned it in his profile. You would think that he was a 14th generation alum. Come to find out....he went to the extension school. Now, I'm all for certificate programs and think they are great, but please don't act like you went to the best school in the country for 4 years.
Ok, why did I go out with this dbag? Well apparently, I have been told I am "too picky" so I thought, I should give it a whirl
Mistake #1- Talking to him on the phone
John was old school and called me to chat. I actually like talking on the phone and think it's nice when guys suggest this. It also weeds out any creepy high-pitch talkers. The convo started off nicely, but then it turned. He told me his ENTIRE story about how his marriage ended, how his wife had cancer but went into remission and then cheated on him. He also mentioned that he didn't end the marriage, she did, but it has been 2 years now and he's finally over it. OooooKkkkkkk. Clearly someone still had some issues. Ladies, if this happens to you, say someone is breaking into your apartment or that you're on fire or something and just hang up the phone and never talk to him again. What do I do? Agree to a date of course!
Mistake #2- Actually meeting up with this guy
Even after the odd phone date I still decided to go out with this guy! It took us at least 3 weeks to connect and make a date. He was the worst at planning. Girls- if you can't nail down a date within a week, don't give this guy another shot. What did I do? I met up with him of course!
The Date
I basically hate this guy by the time I finally see him, but hey, I'm a masochist. We met up at a cute bar in Tribeca and it was rough. All he did was tell me stories about his son. Now one or two is fine, but not for more than 10 minutes of a first date. Then of course he mentions his ex and at that point I just wanted to leave. We only had one drink and I said I had to go and he gave me his business card. Obviously we didn't hit it off but he still went in for the kiss and it was so awkward and I just pulled away and ran into the subway. I was so glad it was over.
Best part of the whole story, he texts me about 3 days after that although he liked me, he didn't think we "connected on a romantic level" and that he wanted to give me that "feedback" since he knows how hard match can be. Thanks for the feedback John! Please call your ex and see if she will take you back :)
Tidbit: This is how bad it's gotten in the NYC dating world. My friend just said, "So I've been texting with cocaine guy from last night" and without a beat I go "Ooh, that's good."
Cocaine guy...these stories are great!
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